Man hiding in my porch

About 2 nights ago I went to see the new Wicked movie with my family who was in town for Thanksgiving. I arrived back to my house around midnight.

I live alone in a shared but divided house, with 2 other tenants living inside. One is upstairs and one splits the downstairs with me so there’s 3 apartments total. My place is in the back of the house and has a back porch you can enter through after walking up the whole driveway.

When I got home, I sat in my bedroom and did about 20-30 minutes of work on my computer. During this time, the house was very quiet and I kept hearing a man’s voice continuously talking. Now, keep in mind, the tenant above me is a man and I know his bedroom is right above mine because I previously lived up there. It sounded like he was talking on the phone, just because of how long and continuous the talking went on. I tried to listen and figure out where the voice was coming from and I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it, but it was either coming from through the ceiling or on other side of my room. Now, it must be noted that my bedroom connects to the porch with a door that I have blocked with my dresser. There’s a main door inside the porch that you use to get into the house but there’s also this strange door connecting to my room.

I couldn’t make out the words, but because of how firm and continuous the voice was going on, I figured it just had to be coming from my housemate upstairs. It’s the only thing that made logical sense. I just kept on thinking though, I had never heard a single voice come through that ceiling before. It’s not that thin. Whatever, I’m worrying about nothing.

After about 20-30 minutes of computer work, I got up to go to brush my teeth, feed my fish, get ready for bed, etc. I come back into my room , turn off the lights and get in bed. Keep in mind it’s been about 45-60 minutes since I first heard the voice and I could still hear it. Damn, I thought. My housemate is chatting up a storm on the phone up there. Oh, how wrong I was!

After about 3 minutes of laying in bed, I all of the sudden heard my porch door creaking along with the talking mans voice. It has a very distinct sound that I knew immediately was my porch door. I crept across my room and put my ear to the dresser/the door that connects to the porch. Sure enough, the talking was coming from inside my porch and I could hear the door moving and shuffling inside my porch along with it. My heart absolutely dropped.

All the lights were off in my house at this point, so I had a sort of sneaky advantage to creep around my house and get a view of what was going on. I crept down my hallway and peered into the kitchen, which the porch leads into. Across the kitchen, through the door and in a streak of moonlight, I just see a man with long , scraggly hair sitting curled up in the center of my porch turned around with his back to me, muttering out loud to himself and rocking back and forth. My fight or flight kicked in and I immediately ripped open the door and started screaming at him to get out and try intimidating him. Looking back, I probably shouldn’t have made myself so vulnerable without a weapon handy, but like I said I was just in fight or flight I can’t explain my actions in this moment other than reacting out of fear and determination to scare him out.

Anyways, this dude didn’t even react to me whipping open the door and screaming at him. Not even a flinch. He simply turned his head to the side very slowly and said “my name is Evan.” This freaked me out so much for some reason, especially because he STILL hadn’t turned around or shown his face. I said I don’t care and kept cursing at him to leave and he slowly rose up with his hands up and said “I know, I know. I’m hiding.” He wasnt saying it in a pleading way though. He said it with this almost childlike, playful tone that freaked me the absolute fuck out. I hated this.

The fact that he kept trying to reason with me and act so mysterious while still not even turning around to show his face just pissed me off honestly. Who do you think you are bro? I ran him out of the porch and was just threatening him. Now I assume it was just a homeless man who was under the influence of something, as I do live in an inner city area and it’s common to see homeless people near my street, but idk man. the sight of seeing him in my porch and knowing he was in there for at least an hour beforehand while I was sitting right there just freaked me the fuck out. I was in full blown defense mode by the time I opened that door and I wasn’t willing to waste any time to do a character dive on the guy. No imaginable situation would permit anyone to be in my porch like that at that hour.

Needless to say, I’ll be double checking my porch lock every night from now on lol. It’s funny because having my room connected to the porch, I always had this horrific intrusive thought that I’d hear someone in there one night. Looks like it came true!

So, please, Evan, let’s not ever meet again you creepy bastard!!