Just a curious question

Need a little rant Can you become a lesbian or are we just simply born queer. Some of my friends say that you have probably have to be born a lesbian from the start. I have had relations with men in the past but know i completely identify as a homosexuell.

I personally think you can figure out that your Queer later on in life. So that comment my friend made Kinda hurt me a bit. What do you think ?