I'd love some feedback.

I want to expand on this, but I am wondering if it's readable.

It’s fucked up, I know. I spent the weekend fighting to get you back, and all I did was get this black eye and a restraining order. Jesus, did I really think that would work? I just lay here, waiting for the other shoe to drop, knowing I have no recourse to the actions I’ve taken.

I want to ask you why. I wish I had before, but I was far away. You and I had grown to a point together that we couldn’t stay sane without a restart. I should have asked you how close I was to losing you. It would have averted the shock of the immediacy of your leaving. I watched you slip away. Can I ask you why it came to this sudden and immediate conclusion? Did I really not see the writing on the wall?

Where did you get that new dress?

Why wasn’t I involved in that decision? I could see every man’s eyes lingering far too long on you. What was I supposed to do? I swung for the fences. Sure. I lost more than my pride. I lost any respect you had left for me. It seemed almost like a cathartic washing of your past sins. You lit up like I hadn’t seen in months.

My breath caught in my lungs when you approached the bar. Who orders red wine at a beer bar? You do. Every time. “House red, please.” You give a $5 tip every time. I know you and cannot escape the feeling that we are meant to live this life together. You know I ordered a whiskey and water. Middle shelf.

The bass hit hard, and you were alight on your feet, dancing like an angel. That fucking dress kept me immured. I wasn’t able to think straight. I know you’ll never forgive me, and for that, I am truly sorry. I keep feeling smaller and smaller. My boisterous persona has crumbled into this self-deprecating wallowing.