After 4+ years I feel done

We have been trying for a baby for over 4 years. We have had 5 chemical pregnancies and I am currently going through my 6th. It’s hard hosting family over the holidays and going through this.

I have been working with a fertility clinic but it’s been difficult because I am able to get pregnant but not stay pregnant. We’ve been on the IVF wait list for about a year now.

I’m to take progesterone pessaries when I receive a positive test. The progesterone made me feel like hell. I was taking 200mg in the morning and 200mg at night. I felt anxious, SOOO nauseous (trying not to puke all day), tired and my heart rate was so high. It was between 100-110 bpm even while I was sleeping.

When my tests started the get lighter I actually felt relieved this time. I don’t think I could physically take the progesterone like that for 12 weeks. I felt crazy. And now I just feel done altogether. I’m mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. And my body just hates the fertility drugs - it’s like it’s screaming NO at me and it might be time to start listening.

Thanks for letting me ramble my feels out into the universe. The holidays are hard and it’s hard going through this so close to Christmas. 🤍