Terrified for FET tomorrow

TW: previous loss

I’m having my first ever transfer tomorrow and I’m terrified. Everyone who I have let in about this journey keeps telling me to be excited and positive. But I don’t feel that way. I feel like I should feel that way but I don’t. Everyone is giddy and asking me a million questions that I have already answered and saying my negative thoughts will bring negative results. I feel like it’s toxic positivity and I just want to curl up in a ball. I know they are just trying to stay positive but I don’t have it in me. I’ve had five losses and I’m am terrified my body is not a safe place. We are doing a fully medicated transfer and I have trust in my doctor and clinic but not myself. I guess I just need some reassurance and maybe good juju