Men need to be studied by therapists.

I met someone on Hinge (19M), and I am (18F). So, I met him; turns out he was from my university. I didn’t know that. I usually don’t go out with guys from my university. If I had known he was from my college, I would’ve never matched with him in the first place.

So, anyways, we started talking, and I liked his vibe. I liked talking to him. When we started talking, I was at home during summer break. So, when I came back, he insisted that we meet and go out. I wasn’t so sure about it. I don’t know why. I just didn’t want to get too attached, I suppose. I did go out with other Hinge matches, though, but not him, and he kept insisting that we meet.

This one time, I was supposed to meet someone, but they stood me up, so I met him instead. It wasn’t a date because my friend was there, and later his friend joined us, and he was a gentleman when we were together. I started to think maybe I should give him a chance. Fast forward, I did eventually go out with him, and on our first date, he told me he was falling for me. I was not that surprised because he had kinda said “I love you” before to me. I didn’t say it back, though, because it was too soon.

Then, I also said I didn’t want a serious thing out of this because, again, I didn’t want to get attached. So, every time he asked, “Why can’t you date me?” I just used to say, “No, I cannot.” By that time, we had been on a couple of dates, and I was starting to really, really like him. I said, “Okay, let’s date.” When I said that, he immediately became disinterested and said, “I can’t do relationships,” and such.

So, we stayed the same for a while, went on more dates, but it started to feel like he didn’t care for me anymore. By this time, I was fully invested, and I had fallen for him and his act. He started being distant and cold and, a lot of times, rude as well. We used to end it every other day, but one day he told me that he had gone out with someone else, and that was definitely it for me. I was heartbroken.

Not long after that, in fact, a day after, I saw him with that girl, with his arms around her, and I was left speechless. I felt betrayed and played with, along with other feelings. After that, we didn’t talk much. I tried talking to him even after he was with someone, compromising my self-respect every step of the way. Finally, he sent me a picture of him with her, and the text said, “My girl.”

That was it for me. I realized I was in denial before because he is, in fact, with someone else. So, I told him not to text me anymore, and after that, I didn’t text him either. A few days later, he kept sending me random reels on Instagram or videos.

Two days ago, he texted me saying I looked good, which is weird. On the same day, my friend calls me and says his new girl wants to talk to me about something. AGAIN, WEIRD. But I did it anyway, and she said that in the beginning, he was very nice, green flag, caring, and protective. He had asked her out also in the beginning, and she said no because she had trauma from her ex, and she doesn’t trust easy.

But when she was finally ready and she asked him out, he said no. In simpler words, he did the exact same thing to her that he did to me, down to the very last detail, from where he took us on the first date—which was the same place, by the way—to the end, acting distant and nonchalant. It was like the whole thing was scripted. Incredibly weird, right?