am i irredeemable? nsfw stuff and self harm

this is going to sound like a mess and im sorry. i need opinions or advice.

im a 23 year old woman.

i am getting cancelled on twitter right now

for one, reposting an explicit dubcon art a year ago

and two, afterwards overdosing on pills, posting pictures of it on twitter, tagging someone that really hated me, and making a suicide note. (i obviously survived it lol)

they also accused me of being into incest which is not true. im confused and frustrated at that lie

i feel awful. ive lost a lot of friends. i feel like im a piece of shit. i dont know what to do. what should i do? is there anything i can do to make things better?

am i a bad person? i really feel like one. i feel like i keep fucking up over and over again

i worry there's something wrong with my head. maybe im mentally ill. im impulsive, not caring about my actions, my self esteem is in the gutter, and im terrified of people leaving me yet i push everyone away

i'll answer any further questions if you have any