Want to be done

When we signed up to do this, I wanted to give a kid a safe place and some normal memories and love and support. I had high hopes and thought it (behaviors) would continue to get better with time. I am now at the end of my rope and I don’t know if I can keep being the mom this girl needs. The only time I enjoy my life is when she isn’t here. Please no judgement. I don’t want to try anymore. I have no motivation to learn how to walk on eggshells to avoid her behaviors and issues. I just want to be a normal parent for once.