Seeing the way women talk about breasts

I was going down a rabbit hole of random topics today related to my body. I have large nipples (areolas) and actually measured them and looked up the measurement to find out if I'm within the normal range. Well, I'm definitely not. The average areola is 2.5 inches but mine are twice the size. Apparently they have the possibility of shrinking if you lose weight, but it's unlikely as the size of one's areolas are dictated by genetics. I came across a depressing posts on some sites from young teenagers ashamed of their bodies and asking if they're normal despite having this. I thankfully saw a lot of reassuring comments which made me feel pretty good about how society treats girls & women with larger nipples. But I also saw a whole lot of websites about nipple reduction surgery.

...then I stumbled across a couple of threads on pregnancy subreddits about women complaining & making fun of big nipples. When a woman is pregnant, her nipples will get a lot bigger before going back to normal after childbirth. It hurt so much reading comments from women openly mocking large nipples. It's a pregnancy sub and the women posting are under a lot of stress, so I get it. It's probably still better than seeing hordes of men making fun of "pepperoni nipples".

I wanted to do my research, so I looked up what pregnant nipples look like. In doing so, I came across a lot of creepy pregnancy fetishist subs and pictures. /sigh/ My nipples resemble the average pregnant woman's nipples. I've had nipples that look like this since puberty.

The thought of losing weight but still having the same large nipples makes me want to give up entirely. I have to keep reminding myself that it doesn't matter; getting healthy is the goal.

It's one of the things that makes me never want to be sexual with anyone, even if I know it's all in my head.