Just sad

I Low-key regret coming out. I feel even worse now that people know. I feel like everyone is secretly judging me. I feel like I'm never going to be able to transition and i feel like I have no support, my mom even told me I'm going to have to pay for everything myself if I want to transition which means 1. I have to wait till I'm 18 and 2. I have to somehow afford it I can't even buy myself a binder. Transgender healthcare in the UK sucks also. Most of my family are incredibly homophobic so they definitely are transphobic to. I try to feel some pride but the truth is I'm disgusted with myself why couldn't I just be normal yk? I tried for so long but keeping it in just became unbearable i didn't even mean to come out I just broke down and told my mom and a couple friends. I'm mentally drained. i can't sleep my eating habits have got bad again and I'm just so tired of this