Update: Light up manager at exit

https://www.reddit.com/r/ExperiencedDevs/s/GJ1EjqK18G

Hey everyone, just wanted to share a quick update on how things went down. Long story short, I did try to “light up” my manager on the way out, but it wasn’t super dramatic. The senior manager had told me (over a teams video call, so no written proof) to skip release meetings, which naturally led to me getting blamed when those releases went sideways. I managed to screenshot a Teams conversation with “new” co-manager who basically confirmed I’d been told not to attend.

Then right before I give my notice I scheduled a meeting with the VP of Engineering, who manages Director of Engineering but VP postponed the meeting at the last minute. By then, I was about to quit, so I didn’t push.

In parallel I also asked a different engineering manager for advice—he’s been around longer and said complaining to the Director of Engineering would be pointless because they’re pretty tight with the senior manager (they have lunch together always been working 15+ years together) and heavily involved in PIP decisions. He summed it up as me failing to “play the politics,” leaving plenty of room for that senior manager to set me up for failure and secure his own spot because his team was dissolved with the reorg. Maybe reorg was a path to get rid of some high earners because I have heard that on January 6th they let a bunch of people go…

On my last day, I had a separate exit chat with the Director (upon my request, he didn’t even bother having 1-1 last 6 months) I expressed my gratitude working together and then stated that this is no retaliation, I am just worried about my team, calmly told him I thought a senior manager who can’t handle releases, can’t coach or mentor, and never owns mistakes cant help the team. He said I sounded harsh and that no one else had ever complained. He followed saying that reason Senior Engineer is not involved in releases because he empowers others to own it(yeah nobody buys that)… That was that—no fireworks, just me leaving. Once I started my new job, I pretty much moved on. I completely forgot about the ex work….

I know it’s not the satisfying takedown some might’ve hoped for, but sometimes these folks have been at a company 10+ years, they’re all covering for each other.

My personal lesson is corporate America is a disgusting place to be and you need to play the game better if you want to have a seat on the table