I’m going turmoil

This is quite a heavy topic but I can’t stop thinking of ending my life. (F23) I’ve had tremors in my hands for over 3 years now, no evidence that anyone in my family or extended has it but myself. I noticed this year I’ve felt a twitch in the back of my head that now has resulted in a no-no shake twitch. I can’t relax in my body anymore because I’m gradually just feeling and watching the progression of the tremor take over my body. Reading about people’s experience with medication where some things are no help or the side effects are unbearable. I’m deeply depressed about this. Im losing control over my body and there’s no escape from that. I don’t think I can live with the idea of it anymore. I’m afraid and scared of the future. I don’t know what to do with myself or who to talk too…..