DAE ever secretly make other people decide if you can eat something or not? TW: Disordered thoughts/no numbers

I REALLY want some Bibimbap rn, and I THINK I’m hungry (can’t tell the difference between hunger or appetite) but I’m also so incredibly unsure over whether I should have it or not. There’s no calories listed which makes me a little uneasy, but I also know I should probably eat something now.

If I decide I might want to eat it, I’ll call my mom and ask her to decide if she wants to bring some or not, bc when she does it won’t be ‘my fault’ and I won’t feel as guilty.

Reading it back I sound so silly bc just eat the damn food? But I think you all know how nerve wrecking this type of situation feels. It’s like I’m between both options and they’re tearing me apart