Crying… partner in hospital due to over usage of nitrous

Not looking for advice. Just looking for some comfort. My partner of two years has a tendency to resort to nitrous whenever he’s feeling stressed (which I wasn’t aware of). I only knew he used it socially with the guys, but I didn’t know he was also using it as a stress reliever. He hid it from me, knowing I’m not a fan of substances.

One day, he started feeling pain in his legs and hands. It got so severe that he started to lose mobility and balance, and next thing you know, we’re at the hospital. After rounds of tests, it was identified there’s a severe B12 deficiency, and that was when I realised the extent of his usage. I feel so hurt and upset. I care so much about him, his health, and our future together. I do my best for him, like always cooking him healthy food with veggies. And now, I’m also taking leave to look after him in the hospital.

It’s just so hard to watch someone I care about essentially have his life ruined right in front of my eyes. He’s lost all mobility, can’t go to work, can’t pay his mortgage, and can’t go on the holidays we had planned. I feel so so sad and confused, and I can’t stop crying. Thanks for reading. 🥺