Went to the dermatologist for the first time and cried

It was my very first time showing anyone my biggest problem area, after a particularly bad flare up. And it was pretty disheartening to hear even the professionals who must see this kind of thing semi-regularly say it’s bad.

I had been doing so well at not picking for MONTHS up until this past weekend when I became really stressed and essentially relapsed. :(

It was especially frustrating to hear the dermatologist say “this is a mental thing that needs to be worked on with mental health professionals”, when I’m well aware of that but have struggled to have anyone take me seriously when I say I’m struggling. She tried to tell me that my general doctor should be the one helping me with this but I’ve been begging for help for over a year with nothing.

It feels impossible to avoid the triggers that make me do this, I’m so ashamed and embarrassed but I feel like my life isn’t even worth living… Anyway, I’m going to share a photo to help hold myself accountable and hopefully in a couple weeks time I’ll be able to laugh at this when it’s healed up a bit.

I’m also posting a photo to hopefully make someone feel a bit less alone (but please be nice, I’m insanely sensitive)