My Neighbor Has Been Stealing My Underwear and Bras

Hey all, I'm new to reddit, but I'm an avid listener, and I really need advice. I feel like I can't go to my friends and you'll see why later.

I 23 F and neighbor 25 M who we will call Joey. I met Joey through a mutual friend (let’s call her Sarah). Sarah had a birthday dinner in August of 2022, where it was about 13 of us and how I ended up meeting Joey. Joey was kind of new to the friend group and the only one in the group who I didn’t know. Back story: About 6 of us (Sarah, Ryan, Kenzie, Jordan, Kenny, and I) have known each other since highschool, then we met the rest of the friends during our time in college. Only Sarah, Ryan and Jordan went to the same college, and that's where they met Joey.

Fast Forward to July 2022, Kenzie and I and one of Kenzie’s friends who’s in the friend group (let’s call her Shay), were talking birthday plans with Sarah. Sarah mentioned a dinner and how her parents are going to buy out a section of the restaurant. Then she listed the people who she wanted to invite, Joey was one of those people. That was my first time hearing about him. Everyone in the friend group has met Joey except me, so I questioned them about him. Sarah said, “Joey is a really cool guy, he’s funny, he’s sweet, and he knows how to have fun. I think you would really vibe well with Joey. So, you have nothing to worry about.” Kenzie and Shay agreed. I get nervous meeting new people and it made me a little more nervous because I was the only one who hadn’t met Joey.

August 5th, 2022, Sarah’s birthday. At 6pm, Sarah, Kenzie and I walk into the restaurant and over to the section. Everyone’s singing happy birthday and clapping. There were name tags on the table, so we had assigned seats. Sarah sat at the head of the table, Jordan, Shay and I sat on Sarah’s left and Kenzie, Ryan and Joey sat on Sarah’s right all in that order, which means I sat across from Joey. Before we all sat down everyone hugged Sarah. Joey and I were oddly the last two to hug Sarah, so she introduced us and we sat down. I was a little annoyed that I was sitting across from Joey because that meant I needed to talk to him. I mean I could have talked to the person that was on my left and right and on Joey’s left and right, but that would have been too weird. We ended up talking and connecting. Joey was honestly a very funny guy, he had me laughing the whole night. He was literally a whole vibe and I really enjoyed myself.

Fast forward to December 2023, there was some people speculating that Joey liked me because he bought me a Nintendo Switch with a few games for Christmas. It was something that I've always wanted and the thought of him liking me did cross my mind, but I didn’t want to take a nice gesture out of context. I also told those people to not take a nice gesture out of context. They agreed and never mentioned it again.

Fast forward to June 2024, after my graduation college in May, I ended up getting an apartment in a nice little area. The apartment was nice, everything was nice. I loved it. Joey, Ryan, Kenny, and my family helped me move into and set up my apartment. Everyone loved my apartment. It was renovated and a very spacious one bedroom unit all for the price of 700$ a month. My apartment became the new hangout spot like I had company every other day and Joey was a frequent guest. We got to connect and bond and we ended up finding out things we never knew about each other. Joey voiced how he was looking for a place to move to because his parents were putting him out when he turned 25. I told him the unit that was four doors down from me would be available at the end of July.

Joey ended up getting approved for the apartment and was able to move in mid-August. Everyone was happy for him and I was excited that one of my close friends would be living down the hall. Joey moved into his apartment. Everything was great, we started hanging out more, and we cooked dinners for one another. When we reached October, things got weird, but I didn't pay it any mind. Joey started having a lot of maintenance issues going on with his apartment. First it started with him not being able to shower in his apartment. I guess there was a leak somewhere that leaked into his downstairs neighbors apartment. I allowed Joey to shower at my place for the time being. Therefore, I gave him a key to my apartment. Then when the leak was fixed, suddenly, his washer and dryer stopped working, so I allowed him to use mine. I noticed some of my things were missing, but I didn’t think too much about it. More and more things ended up broken in Joey’s apartment which I allowed him to use my appliances. And suddenly more and more of my things went missing but this time it was my underwear and bras. It was just one thing after the next. I was hesitant to ask Joey about it, so I gaslit myself into thinking someone at the laundromat stole my items or I didn't get everything out the dryer or washer. Yes, I went to the laundromat even tho I had in unit washer and dryer. I procrastinated doing laundry for a while and I was pressed for time.

Fast forward to Dec. 12th, I was hanging out in Joey’s apartment while he ran downstairs to get our takeout. Prior to ordering food Joey and I were talking about Christmas gifts. During the conversation Joey said, “Yeah, they’re hidden in this apartment somewhere.” And me being me nosey asf, as soon as he left I jumped up from the couch and ran to his bedroom. I looked under the bed then I looked in the closet, worst mistake ever. Joey had a box full of my DIRTY underwear and bras. He had pictures of me sleeping. Pictures of me half naked. Pictures of my spicy toys. Pictures of me on dates with guys. Pictures of me hanging out with other friends. Just pictures upon pictures. I was sick. It was giving Joe from YOU. And stupid me didn’t bring my phone with me and I didn’t have time to go get it either. I just closed the closet and as I was walking down the hallway Joey was coming back into the apartment. Therefore, I couldn’t get any proof. Joey saw me and said, “I can’t wait to eat this food. It smells sooo good.” I said, “Yeah, I actually lost my appetite. I think I’m just going to go lie down.” Joey said, “Are you sure? Do you need me to do or get you anything?” I said, “Yes, can I have the key to my apartment back, so I can give it to my brother.” He gave me the key and I left with my food. I was paranoid. How did he know where I would be? Was he tracking me? Was he following me? Was he listening in on my phone calls? Did he put a hidden camera in my apartment? I didn't stay in my apartment that night.

The next day, Joey was asking to hang out and I said, “I can’t, I'm busy.” Which I was. I took my car to the mechanic to check for trackers and they didn’t find anything. I checked my phone for trackers and I didn’t find anything. I checked my apartment for cameras and voice recorders and I didn’t find anything. Joey’s been reaching out nonstop and I guess he peeked that I’ve been avoiding him, so he got our friend group involved. Everyone’s been reaching out to me. Side note: we’re a friend group that likes to talk all of our problems out. So, Sarah and Ryan set up a lunch to talk to me, but when I arrived at the restaurant Joey was there. I immediately turned around and ran back to my car. Joey saw me and ran after me, but I pulled off before he could get to my car.

Joey’s been sending me voice note after voice note, but there's four voice notes I can’t get out of my head. The one he sent on the 21st said, “So, I’m going to assume you saw all that stuff in my closet. It’s not what you think it is.” What? It's not what I think it is? Then the ones on the 24th said, “Oh OP. The truth is I’m in love with you and I have been since the day I first met you at Sarah's birthday dinner. I had you giggling up a storm and I mean I still do. You made me feel like a man again. You made me feel like I was worthy of love again. Please, don’t do this to me OP.” Then an hour later he said, “OP, tell me this isn’t what you want. Tell me you don’t want me OP and I will leave you alone for good.” Just when I was about to respond he sent another voice note that said, “OP, fucking respond to me, right now. I’m about to lose my shit.” At that point, I blocked him on everything. I called my sister and brother-in-law to come get me and I’ll explain everything later. My sister lives closest to me, that's why I called her instead of my mom. They came and got me and I explained everything to them. They say I need to go to the police and tell the friend group. I mean I don't have much proof other than the voice notes, but those don't really prove anything. I’m honestly don't know what to do. So, reddit, what should I do? Please help