Sticky floors = good food?

My wife and I have had a theory for years that restaurants with sticky floors and tables (likely from using the wrong cleaner) will serve the most tasty food you have ever put in your mouth.

Bonus portions of the theory that also may increase tastiness:

Food only served in styrofoam, even if dining in

No website, just a FaceBook page

Photos look like they were taken from a 2007 Motorola Razr

Menus have appeared to never been adjusted since the restaurant opened, but taped over for price changes

What Columbus restaurants fit this criteria?