Oh, how the tables have turned!

When I was a kid (I know, I sound like I’m ancient), I used to dream about my future, especially the years between 17-19. I thought those would be the best years of my life—how I’d look, the things I’d own, the friendships, relationships, academics, and a perfect family life. It all seemed like it would be straight out of a movie. But now, everything feels like it’s turned upside down.

I don’t own anything fancy. I imagined my parents as the ideal couple happy, loving, mature, and respectful. But in reality, they fought constantly and never showed each other love. I always believed my mom was the better person. Now they’re divorced, and surprisingly, I didn’t even feel a thing literally no tears, no pain, nothing. The only thing that’s been constant since I was around 12 is that I’ve always hated my dad.

I’ve grown out my hair and beard to the point where people think I’m 25, even though I’m much younger. After passing my 12th, I took a year off to prepare for NDA but failed. Tried again the next year and failed again didn’t even get close to the cutoff. Attempted it like thrice and still failed, lol.

In school, I was part of a huge friend group and even one of the key people in it. Now, I’m left with just three friends. I’ve joined a crash course for KEAM, hoping to get into college instead of sitting at home, haunted by my failures. With only four months to go, I’m scared I won’t make it.

Right now, all I have is a 2 year gap, responsibilities, and a broken heart. The only thing keeping me sane is that I’m not a financial burden on my mom, who’s living her life for the first time.

I'm sorry that I know this isn’t written perfectly cuz I’m just pouring my thoughts out.

tldr : I dreamed of a perfect life at 17-19, but reality hit hard. My parents divorced, I failed the NDA three times, lost most of my friends, and now I’m stressed about KEAM with only four months to prepare. The only constants in my life have been my hatred for my dad and the fact that I’m not financially burdening my mom, who’s figuring out life for the first time too.