Taking my life today. God please forgive me

This has been planned. Nothing has changed since then but only gotten worse. If God exists I'm sorry. Not every child of God makes it. I've tried but nothing has worked. Alcohol, drugs, illegal work for money, church, church friends that have grow tired of me. I'm just done.

I'm 25 and cant keep this up. Tonight is the end and I'm okay with it. Seriously. I just hope if God is real I'm forgived. I'm sorry. I want to be at rest and not in agony.

update 6/1: I'm okay, in the hospital but I'm okay. I woke up to find an overwhelming amount of people who care. Thank you to everyone and I'm sorry for worrying those who were.