Really going through it

I’m 30F and feel like I’m just stuck. I unfortunately fell into a yearlong “situationship” with my best guy friend. He’s a convert (~2019) and I’m in the process of converting (independent of meeting him). I met him on a dating app - we agreed we’d be just friends, but then it turned into something more over the last year and now our relationship is ending. I’m having such a difficult time with it and having boundaries. I want to get back into dating because parallel to all of that…I just feel like I’ve been crying out for years about being single when I deeply desire marriage. For a long time (before returning to church and starting my OCIA journey) I said I didn’t want kids. But now I feel like I’m staring down the barrel of a life of loneliness. This is a ramble and I’ll probably end up deleting it, but how on EARTH do people date? I don’t even want to venture on the dating apps. It feels so superficial and insincere. :(