I feel like such a fool

I’m 48 years old. While making my daughters lunch just there tonight, there was a pack of crème crackers on the table. I fancied a long time fave of crackers and cheese but I’d have to open a new pack of cheese so I was torn. In a moment of sheer madness I wondered what a slice of ham on crackers would be like. As soon as the thought crossed my mind I felt dirty. Maybe it was Catholic Shame. I checked that everyone had gone upstairs to bed and I nervously buttered the Jacobs crème crackers with softened Kerry gold butter and with one eye on the kitchen door I folded the slice of ham onto one cracker then placed the second on top. I hastily took a fast guilty bite and sweet mother of jaysus I had an epiphany. I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life. Fuck cheese and crackers after this!!!

Anyway. I obviously can’t tell anyone for the shame but I have to get it out.

Maybe some of you have already committed this sin and enjoyed it? Maybe you might try it right now before bed? Maybe there’s a support group?

I don’t have all the answers but I’m gonna have to be brave tomorrow and tell my family what I’ve done. Explain to them that now I’ve changed and they can turn their backs on me if they want whilst trying to convince them to join me on the dark side.

I feel ashamed and liberated at the same time.

Thread carefully casual Ireland. Good night.

Ps. Phone changed cream to crème and it looked quare fancy so I left it as a treat to you all.