randomly crying

Hi, I don’t think i’ve ever even made a post. I just wanted to vent, i’ve had a narcissistic and abusive mother and step mother and I moved out when I could as young as I could at 20 and now still at 27 I find myself randomly crying without even anything persay like nothing sad nothing happy nothing and it’s about that. I cry about the same feeling I feel so alone, I feel envious of people who have loving parents even the thought of a parent not berating or SA’ing their children doesn’t seem like real it feels like they live in a different world than I do and even after leaving the house nearly 6-7 years ago I find myself sitting in bed crying for no reason wishing I had a mom who cared, a father who cared just somebody who cared. I’m an only child too so I don’t have any siblings and I just always think i’m just so alone and there are moments like this where I just find myself so sad. i’m on lexapro and wellbutrin for my anxiety and depression to help manage my cptsd and I fight these constant thoughts of beating myself up that at this age I can’t get over wanting a parent or something or a period of my life that happened but it’s so hard. how do you guys calm yourself when dealing with moments like this? also sorry most of this is rambling i’m crying as I write it and just didn’t formulate well sorry