CPTSDers over 30; how is life?

I turned 30 this year.. and I’ve been feeling like i am falling in a whirlpool.

How do you navigate life? What tricks you’ve learned?

What books do you enjoy to help you heal or feel better?

How do you deal with triggers?

How do you navigate relationships?

Are you lonely?

Do you still grief the death of your potential personality should the traumatic events that occurred never happened?

I am insomniac this night; battling an ugly flashbacks, and in my mind i feel like im too old for this.

—- EDIT:

i wish i can reply to each one of you, and express how grateful i am for all of those wonderful heartfelt inputs.

I’ve read them all, i keep reading them too and coming back when i feel like i want an advice.

Thank you guys; i wish you all eternal happiness