How Ajahn Brahm overcame restlessness when he was 5 years as a monk

"I like telling the story. 5 years as a monk I was and I found this most beautiful place. I was with my teacher, Ajahn Chah, I was in the next best scene, in a chai plantation, in a tea plantation in the North of Thailand. There's as much tea as you could drink. This was angmo haven. [laughs] Angmo means white monk or actually red hair. But anyway, so there I was, at a beautiful monastery with caves, I love caves. There was a batcave. And I must say, because there's lots of bats in the cave. They always, when they fly out, that's when they do their business.Because when they hang upside down, you can't poo when you're hanging upside down. [laughter]So they have to wait until they fly. [laughter] You try it. [laughter] And so just outside the cave, it was just incredibly rich soil.I always remember this papaya tree outside and that was the most delicious papaya I've ever ever eaten in my whole life. Nothing ever matched that. I was by myself, nothing to do but meditate all day,I started getting restless. I know what it's like when the thoughts take over your mind,you can't stop them. And it would be okay if there are thoughts are about the high dhamma,about the meaning of dependent origination,or something useful. But you know what I was thinking about? Old girl friends, I wonder where she is now, [laughs] sex, maybe I'm still young enough, maybe still someone might have me, romance and all those, but I was a monk, Stop it! I love being a monk, I always did. But these thoughts kept coming into your mind, what I call unmonkish thoughts. And the more I tried to stop them, the more they came in. It was driving me crazy. The thing was I never had anyone to talk to, cos I was in solitude by myself. And so one day, it got so bad, I remember this, the only thing I could do was, there was a big Buddha statue in the hall and I bowed to that and I just said, "Help". I was really going crazy. And then the idea came to me, that is not supernatural,which is sometimes when you ask someone else you can get an answer for yourself. And the answer came, why don't I do a deal. If you really have to think about all those unmonkish thoughts, I was going to give myself a time,3 to 4 pm every the afternoon. I can have my thinking, anything goes and I won't try to stop it at all. Even the weirdest sexual fantasies, I'll accept you from 3 to 4, the rest of the day you behave. Fair enough. You know, just make a deal. Of course it never worked as I expected it. Until 3 o'clock the mind was still as crazy as ever, going all over the place, thinking about this girl,that girl, oh, goodness knows what else. By the time it got to 3 o'clock, you know what it's like when you are restless, you get so exhausted and tired. So at 3 o'clock, I went up to my room, I leant against the wall, put my feet, they were aching, said, "Ok, now,I'm not going to fight you anymore. Whatever thought comes into the mind, the weirdest sexual fantasy, girlfriend, sex, anything,come in." And for the next hour, I watched every breath without missing one, it was so peaceful, the calmest hour I had in months [chuckle]. And that really shook me, I was trying to fight those thoughts out and they just kept going stronger. When I said, "Ok,you can come in, do whatever you want." I was so calm and peaceful, there's not a thought came into my mind for an hour. You understand why? I did, after that experience. When I was trying to stop those thoughts, I was feeding them, I was giving them energy. But as soon as I said, "ah let go, the door of my heart is open to you, any thought can come in, whatever it is. Come." Nothing came. [laughter] That is how you break that hindrance."