My birthday. But he will still not message...

Some years I don't even pay attention I remember it's my birthday when I get the first birthday message.

This year no. This years I have been thinking about it for few days. Will he message me ?

Just like I waited at New Year and Christmas.

Of course I got no message. Of course today I will not get either.

Does he even remember it's my birthday. I told him only once. I remember his. In June. I will not message either. I don't exist for him anymore.

I must work that he will not exist for me neither... 3 months NC. I know no message will come. Still. I will hope all day.

At valentine also probably too. While he will be most likely celebrating it with someone else. I'm crying. It doesn't change nothing. He is gone for real. And I'm an idiot.