Feeling myself becoming the psycho ex 🤦🤦. But sticking to no contact

Hey y’all, hope everybody had a great Christmas and a great week. I had a major break up with my ex at the beginning of December and I have been able to stay no contact since it happened, but it’s just been very hard to not check her Insta.

I helped her set up her Wi-Fi at her new place so I have the app and I can see who is logged into the Wi-Fi. This is where I feel like I’m becoming the psycho ex 🤣

This morning the app sent me a notification showing me that a new computer and phone had logged in, and there was a name on the device, and I almost went online to search to find out who that person was 🤦🤦

I’m not the kind of person to stalk her or spy on her life, but it’s just such a crazy urge that I’ve never felt before. I saw where she was going to be on New Year’s Eve and literally every fiber of my body just wanted to be there, And with the Wi-Fi app I can also see when she’s home and when she’s not so I get such a relief when I see that she isn’t out and about during the weekends. I’m not going to stalk her but I wanna talk to her and see her so bad

I’m trying so hard not to check her Insta, but she’s so beautiful that I just love seeing her smile and seeing that her life is going better without me in it. I don’t know if her life is actually better and if she’s actually happy but based on her pictures and Some videos I’ve seen of her. It definitely seems like her life is going great.

Since I had no closure and I have no idea how to move forward in terms of how I should act when I run into her at our town center. I’ve just been taking it one day at a time

It’s so hard to know if she’s moved on and if she’s happy or if she’s still thinking about me. Especially since she’s working a networking event that I used to frequent but I was told to not go because of her so is she moved on and me going is okay or does she still feel some type of way?

It’s so hard to know how someone really feels because on Instagram we all post pictures of us happy and that life is going great but behind the scenes and things are a lot more different

I guess I just wanted to vent but what would y’all do in my position? I know I should delete the app, but that’s hard and I don’t feel like I can do that yet and I’m trying to stop looking at her insta but that’s also hard. Any other recommendations?