I just got dumped with the lowest effort imaginable

My frst serious relationship (almost three years together) just ended like more than a week ago and since then I'm going through so much different emotions that I felt the need to share my story and maybe get some opinions on what the hell happened, because I can't make much sense of it on my own. If anyone is willing to read, I'm already most grateful for your time. I'll try to make it as short as possible though.

So, everything was fine until I noticed she started avoiding conversations with me out of the blue and didn't text me as much as usual. And the messages she did send were quite emotionless. I knew something wasn't right and started asking what's going on. It was really hard to get any explanations from her. She said she got used to not speaking that much (which wasn't like her at all) and it's all because of her bad mood and being busy lately. I asked what was she being busy with actually and she told me that, for example, she'll need to visit my city next day (we live in different ones, although not really far) and confirmed that she wouldn't tell me if I wouldn't ask. Which again, was nothing like her since she always wanted to meet up during every possible occasion. I proposed to meet up anyway, even for a quick chat but she really didn't want to see me. It was all during a phone call. She later texted me that she was thinking about taking a break which basically stopped my heart. For the first time I was actually scared that things may end horribly anytime soon.

Following days were pretty stressful. She was still pretty much avoiding any meaningful conversation while I was trying to understand what caused her to think about distancing herself from me so suddenly. After some time, she finally admitted that she had a serious panic attack lately and listed my flaws that she believe are part of my nature and I won't be able to fix them. Now, let's stop right here for a moment, because those problems turned out to be so trivial that she herself admitted that, yet continued to frame them like some real relationship killers. Stuff like, I didn't buy her gifts too often or when I spend money on her "it felt forced". She was also dissapointed that I didn't get close to her family which would be understandable if her family wasn't actively avoiding me during my visits. Never before she actually told me that things like that were actually a big deal for her. Furthermore, she mentioned that I should just guess what I was supposed to do sometimes and figure out myself how to act in certain situations. Let me remind you that it was my (and her) first actual relationship so just knowing about everything without any direct communication sounded that more abstract to me. Anyway, I did agree with some actual valid criticism and even accepted those less rational accusations, presenting myself as more than open to change or improve. At that point, I completely ignored some other, more hurtful things she said. Supposedly, she was tired from seeing me in person and suggested that maybe we should start meeting other people, since we don't have any comparison. I really didn't want to take that suggestion seriously and focused on fixing our relationship instead.

I tried to set a date for meeting up as soon as possible. Weirdly enough, she didn't want to face me alone and requested to bring along my friends. How were we supposed to discuss such important matters while hanging out with other people? No idea, but she wouldn't agree on anything different. I already felt like it could be the last time I'll be seeing her in person, so I just played along. Also, I wanted to try my best no matter what. I bought her a bouquet, wrote her a poem and did basically everything I could at the moment to just show her that I really care and already changing for the better. It seemed to work. A whole day went great. She was acting pretty normal with me and said she had more fun than she expected. Following days were starting to look like the old good times as well. We were texting each other more and even doing some stuff together online. I was finally at peace.

But I wouldn't be typing all of that if that would be the end, right? Just a week after seeing each other in person she, once again, started avoiding texting me and during one day she sent one message that finally broke me. It was a messy and convoluted explanation of what she is truly feeling. She fell out of love with me, said it's actually too late for fixing everything but she still care and still love me platonically. I instantly tried to call her but she didn't answer and instead texted that she needs a few days for herself. Heartbroken, I sent her a couple of messages explaining that I still love her like I always did and it all really hurts me. I also asked if she can at the very least confirm that it's a definitive end of our relationship but I was left alone with that question for yet another week.

After all of those days of actually not contacting each other she just answered with a single "yes". No more talking, no more explanations. She actually decided to end all we had with a message. Even worse, she didn't bring herself to actually type that she's done. She just answered my desperate question with a single word. Still, I decided to explain yet again how I feel about all of this. I even thanked her for our time together. She thanked me also, said it would be much harder for her to do it in person (duh!) and finished with a cold "until next time, goodbye", which she edited to just "goodbye" a few hours later. Writing it right now, I still can't believe how she could act that way. She, the believer of true love and apparently mature person acting so childish, cowardly and disrespectful to a person she once wanted to spend the rest of her life with. That whole month was emotionally draining for me but the way the final blow was delivered actually killed something in me. I didn't even know how I should answer to that, so then an actual no contact phase begun and remains to this day.

It's really, really hard. I don't even remember when was the last time I cried this much. She even mentioned one time, during all this, that she was trying to make me more ambitious with acting like that. But when it actually worked and I did everything in my power at the moment to prove that, it was suddenly too late? Just what the hell is going on in her head? I always loved her, always were supportive. We even had plans for the near and far future but she decided that all of those trivial and easily fixable problems are bad enough to just destroy all those plans and every other positive aspect of our relationship. Apparently because she just imagined the worst possible scenario for us, thought this through with herself and decided for both of us that we should give up. I am devastated. My birthday is coming soon, then Holidays and a New Year's Eve (our anniversary). No idea how I'm gonna go trough all of that alone.

If you've come this far, once again, thank you for your time. I hope that I explained my story clearly enough. My wounds are still fresh but I just wanted to let it all out in hope that maybe someone had a similar experience or can offer some words of comfort. I'm open for disscusion, because talking about it helps me to some degree.