First time break up

My bf (30) and I (30) just broke up after 8 years being together last week on my birthday month. I can’t believe just 2 weeks ago we were eating each other out and now I’ve packed up my things in the apartment to move cross country back to my home. I really cannot believe this just happened these past few days. I’ve felt lonely, depressed towards the end of the relationship and he’s had it that I left the relationship twice in the past for my depression. I felt the hurt in him when we spoke for 3hrs of breaking up. And he’s so tired of seeing me veg on the couch and watch tv all day. I also quit my job bc it was causing a lot of anxiety and stress. Idk what to do with my life anymore. I’m moving back home with my dad and sister and I just want to sleep through the days. I envisioned building a life together and finally moved to a new apartment and now we’ve fell apart. Does this get any better? This is still fresh and raw and he wrote me the most well written and loving goodbye text when I was on the plane and I can’t even bring myself to write something like that to him. I know I need to get healthy again and treat my depression. My world is shattered and I can’t envision my life without him.