My wife’s MIL stole the mail lady’s cookies

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/SuccessfulCup6216

My wife’s MIL stole the mail lady’s cookies

Originally posted to r/CharlotteDobreYouTube

Thanks to u/queenlegolas & u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: death and stroke, destruction of property

MOOD SPOILER: dark, sad, depressing, horrible

Original Post Dec 24, 2024

Yes you read the title right, because right now I am not claiming her as my Mother.

We have the sweetest mail lady, knows how to put packages in the garage, remembered to leave a couple carrots for our big baby furball, got us a condolence card when he passed. I’ve read horror stories on other places about terrible mail delivery people and I just can’t fathom it with how good ours is.

Some halloweens ago we found out that our mail lady LOVES licorice, absolutely adores the flavor. So for every holiday we would leave her black jelly beans, Australian licorice, those black pinwheel candies, and the like.

This year my wife found a recipe to make anise cookies. So she was very careful in making them. And when they came out the whole house smelled like the flavoring, wasn’t bad but honestly not my favorite.

When she saw our lovely mail lady coming to the door she saw that she was wearing a pinned note. Our carrier she recently rung the bell to be declared cancer free from two different types.

Wife opened the door, gave her the card, a hug in congratulations, and then went to get the cookies. Except she couldn’t just pick up the package. Carrier said she couldn’t really wait. And my Wife called over to my mother, who proceeded to tell my Wife those were the worst things she had ever made.

Our mail lady had this awkward look at the argument brewing. But I swear I saw her recoil at not only the loss of the cookies but that my mom made the comment, “Well then get that out of the damn trash, that’s all they are good for.”

My mom hates licorice, despises it, so why she proceeded to take bites out of wrapped cookies I’ll never know. My mail lady, bless her soul, “I’m sorry for what I did to you for you to believe I deserve trashed food.”

So now my wife is trying to quick make something new but doesn’t have the ingredients to make new cookies. My mom doesn’t seem to get why the kids or us are mad at her, my Dad just took off to go get her a Starbucks card and a new tumbler, the kids are upset that the nice mail lady looked sad, on the 24th of December.

Edit 1: Since I didn’t make it to clear, my Dad and oldest kiddo went to get our Mail Lady a Starbucks gift card, plus a new tumbler. I guess over the summer my Daughter walked a couple blocks with the mail lady and found out she’s a big fan of flavored coffee.

Edit 2: My Wife’s MiL called my sister. She did not get the response she wanted. My Sister is now upset with my Wife’s MiL.

Update 1 Dec 29, 2024 (5 days later)

Now that the holiday is over and my parents will be with my sister for New Years I had a moment to fill in some info and answer some questions.

As for my mom’s mental health, she’s been like this in varying degrees since I was young. My siblings and I’s birthdays were about her. Our accomplishments were hers. Our failures were all ours. Except she kept it to just us. Never involved the spouses or outside people before, so that’s new.

My Dad did have a conference call with my siblings and I. He will be bringing this up to their family doctor. As a just in case.

As for the mail lady, Oldest Daughter and he did manage to get to the mail lady to give her the replacement gift. I guess our office was fully staffed and with the slightly warm temps the carriers were all getting done super early. They said the employee parking lot was almost empty with her and a couple other uniformed carriers heading to their cars. Dad apparently drove the neighborhood twice before Daughter had the idea to drop them off at the office.

Now for the main update, no my mom did not apologize. She is stuck in the reasoning that food offered in the house is up for grabs. Where I can slightly see the idea because they have been told before, if it’s in the kitchen and not named, help yourself. The package of cookies didn’t have a name on it. They weren’t on a named shelf. So I can reluctantly see her point. Doesn’t make what she said any better.

My sister is going to try again to reach through to her over New Years. If that fails my baby Brother has said he’ll do his best when they head that way end of January. There are four of us, so the parents stay for two weeks at each of the kids houses before heading back home. My eldest Sister had a small medical emergency so I only had my parents for just about a week.

So yes mom was being a *itch for no reason. The ones of you suggesting something medical might be on to something. And I’m super proud of my kids for still loving grandma respectfully while still being very upset with her. My Wife was an absolute star in not going after her MiL with a rolling pin. Dad…Dad and I had a couple extra beers in the shed.

So not that exciting of an update, just wanted to let you all know what happened after.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

PaintedSpirited3027

Just because you are family and food that is in the house is "always up for grabs" it does NOT EVER give anyone permission to take an entire package or plate or tray or whatever of food and throw it out. Her point is completely invalid.

I say if your dad & siblings can not get through to her, and a doctor can not get through to her (because the chances are very high they won't) - next time you are at their home, start throwing her favorite foods away, but dump stuff on it so she can't just dig it out.

Honestly, I worry about your dad and what he has put up with when you and your siblings weren't around, or when you couldn't hear or see them as kids. Poor guy sounds like he gets abused as much as you guys did as kids.

OOP

I’m leaving out a lot of what Dad and I talked about in the shed. He protected us more than I realized before but he’s not ready to put down the shield and let us protect him.

Just know he completely loves my mom, and this hurt him. He made the comment on how she isn’t who he married over 50 years ago.

Update 2 Feb 21, 2025

This will be the last update and also an explanation, I guess.

For those of you saying that it sounds like my Mother was experiencing a medical condition, long story short, you were right.

My Mother as I stated in the update was one of those Mom’s who claimed her children’s wins and blamed us for our losses. It made growing up exhausting with always competing to be the favored kid. Until my oldest sister entered high school and a teacher pointed out she would never be the favored kid, work for yourself and be your best for your life. That trickled to the rest of us and we started being siblings and not competing all the time.

So her more and more selfish actions were just put under Mom being Mom. Until Mom did a complete 180, one morning she woke up almost completely different. We should have taken all the signs more seriously than we did.

I’m sure some of you are already figuring out the outcome. On the 16th Mom and Dad had their anniversary, Dad said they feasted on all of their favorite dishes. He said Mom reminded him of the lady he first met back when he was uniformed and she was working as a car hop.

Mom didn’t wake up that next morning.

Dad insisted on Mom getting an autopsy and we all shared the cost. The doctor said Mom must have been suffering from small strokes for years, her brain was pretty Swiss cheesed from the damage.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

Vox_Mortem

It sounds like she had one last amazing day. She was happy, with the person she loved, eating her favorite foods. I think that is how I'd like to spend a last day.

OOP

She really did, I think remembering that day is the only thing that keeps Dad going right now. I don’t know if something in her gave her a little insight on it coming but I kinda like to think she had an idea.

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