Idk what's wrong with me

So, first thing, I feel like right now I love my friends but suddenly I hate all of them and see them as toxic people. I heard that being in love makes the symptoms worse, I noticed this since I had feelings for my crush, it only got worse. I pressure myself to not lose my friends, I force myself to stay with them even when I hate them so I don't end up alone. I don't want to lose them, but I hate them. I wish I was normal, I hate myself and them. What should I do?+ I feel like everyone hates me secretly