Hoping to hear similar situations, comforting knowing there are more out there like me.

I've been going to therapy because of my ex and hearing from others and saying they went through the same gives me peace of mind. When thoughts of maybe I could of done this or that even though my friends and hers all say I went far above and beyond and understanding for her, I still somehow feel guilt. Avoidants are a weird bread, and I'm not picking on them, with my exes past, I absolutely feel for her and wish their was a way to help to be clear. But how do you go from spending tons of time together and texting, to her wanting to be friends. Then she says she want to hangout, comes over a few days in a row and is all over me, then randomly leaves one day when she was suppose to stay the night, disappeared then says not to wait for her a week later. Week later is depressed and I reach out, she comes over tells me her whole past. Agree to be friends, not a great idea, got validation without having to commit or be vulnerable. Would get close then push away constantly for 2 months. She has a health scare, afraid she might be dying, blowing up my phone to shut down again. Reached out a few days later and she freaked out on me for asking her how she is doing. Please if your comfortable share some stories and let me know how your doing, coping, similar stories and remind each other (if you were truly good to your ex and not just an asshole), that it was not our fault, we were good loving partners, they just avoided and ran.