RSD has me in a chokehold

Ughhhhhhh I am so sick of it. I know how to reframe my thoughts and all that CBT stuff. But man, the feeling of intense rejection and hurt comes on so so so quickly over the smallest thing (today it was literally just posting on Instagram and nobody liking it - NOT something I want to care about) and then feels impossible to shift. It’s like once it grabs hold of me, I can feel it pulling me into a spiral and no amount of logic or distraction or self-care lets that feeling ease up. It’s in my throat and my chest. It’s incredible how quickly it can take the wind out of me and how long it can linger. Sometimes it will take weeks to feel okay again. I’m trying to just sit with it (distress tolerance), but god damn, it’s hard. It’s like someone just came and dumped a bunch of rocks in my backpack and I just have to carry it around now.

I only just resumed social media. I take frequent breaks because of this. I don’t know what I’m hoping to get out of it. I thought maybe it would be a reminder that old friends etc still exist and I haven’t been completely abandoned, but I think it’s just making things worse. I want to maintain some form of connection with people who were once a bigger part of my life, but maybe I should just let it all fade and mind my own business. Idk.