Alcohol and other drugs

I am curious. Since investigating all things autism. I have come across so much content where Autists turn to alcohol and marijuana to help cope. I’ve only ever had alcohol and not all that much throughout my life. I isolated myself because I refused to partake in alcohol or drugs. I realise now this was more to do with feeling completely overwhelmed in social situations than the actual substances. My brain however had confused the two. Yet it seems to me so many Autists seem to use alcohol etc to help fit in. This just completely blows my mind, I just always saw this as the NT domain. Throughout my life I always felt most let down when people I thought were like me then went out drinking and changed to be like all the other NTs. I guess I am not as good at masking as I thought I was. I just avoided everything and stuck to my values. Why would I change myself for others?

Now I have dabbled with alcohol and I just don’t get it. Most of it is disgusting. And I have to have a stupid amount to even feel anything. That concept of have a few drinks to loosen up, just means nothing to me as it has absolutely no effect on me. I am still as awkward, still as isolated, still as quiet, still as overstimulated. Maybe just a little dizzy. Can anyone else relate? I’m not trying to judge here I genuinely feel like this is just another thing I’m missing out on. Is it enjoyable? Is it helpful?