Did you make horrible, traumatizing dating choices because you were socially unaware or didn’t know your own feelings?

For like 6 months when I first became an adult, I got into being a sugar baby after years of going to schools where I was being bullied and treated like a punching bag for being autistic and weird. My GOD did I get treated like a piece of meat, disrespected, have my dignity taken, etc. I have so many memories I wouldn’t dare even speak aloud and thankfully I’m mostly good at burying those memories because they’re so humiliating and I can’t believe I ever even did any of those things. I’m just grateful there’s no evidence of any of it, saving me from getting found out, especially since I didn’t do it for very long. It’s forever a part of my early adulthood though which I’m disgusted at myself for.

I have many examples of disgusting things men did to me that I stuck around for because I was so fucking lost and unguided, and just wanted to feel some adrenaline and be free after being punished for every little thing in school. I definitely had a ton of trauma to work through by the time I was 21.