My loneliness is making me creepy

I genuinely have a lot of physical disadvantages that make me ugly. And my autism is not helping either. I barely have social skills.

Please no toxic positivity and gaslighting by telling me “everyone is beautiful” or that I’m beautiful. You don’t know what I look like. And you don’t know how many people have ghosted me for showing my appearance. You’re adding more salt on the wound with your ignorance if you say that. 😓

Most men already aren’t attracted to me. But the ones who are, they’re too old or I’m not attracted to them. Most men near me want just sex, and when I do find a guy near my age who actually wants to date me, I weird them out eventually. I do creepy things like screenshot our conversations and just keep rereading them to myself because I am so outcasted in life that any positive human interaction makes me smile. Creepy, I know. But loneliness does that to you.

I’m 20 years old and I’m sick of hearing “you’re so young! Give it time!!”

And I’m not saying you’re wrong. You’re absolutely correct, but the reason why I hate hearing it is because there are people who are 9+, 15+, 20+ years older than me who have little to no dating experiences and they’re still single. And the reasons why they’re single is for similar reasons as me.

And they got told that “they’re so young” and “to give it time” around my age too. No offense to those guys, but i genuinely don’t want to end up as one of them.

I feel so lonely.