I’m jealous of people who can take meds

My partner is ADHD and stimulants have changed his life. I’m so jealous that so many people can pop a pill and feel better, be better. I have to raw dog it. There’s no fix for my executive dysfunction, hypersensitivity and resulting emotions, depressive states, anxiety, overwhelm, etc. I tried meds for over a decade and it was all awful, I have paradoxical reactions, terrible withdrawals, they never help. Anyone else that can’t take meds to help the symptoms? 😔 and fwiw I am in therapy and have all the other support systems! Just no meds…