Will Medication Help Treat This

So Im writing this as im inside this hell as to relay this as best as I can. Ive thought about this in different states of mind and can definetly say this a wierd case that i dont think medication will help, but i would love to hear your guys opinions as you are professionals. Seeing my psychatrist tomorrow, been on lamical for 6 weeks, going to have to discontinue it but dont know if SSRIS are the next best move. This is getting out of hand for me and it feels different than most cases so would love to yall input on this.

I had childhood trauma for sure, used a lot of weed adolescant years and early twenties. I think at this point it plays a big part in how im feeling because it feels extra terrastrial so to speak. Im 26M, and it started getting really bad about 4 years ago.

My reality is very different than everyones, and ive done research on anxiety, depression, depersonalization/dearilzation, OCD. Obviously we are humans and our brains are fairly similar, similar enough to have these conditions be in DMS or whatever its called. But my reality seems to have fallen into a different main category. It encompasses all the symptoms i just mentioned, but it is brain zaps so to speak that take me to a different dimension where people and what i say is the most dreadful thing ever, ill get shocked when i even think about saying stuff. My brain brings me to this place of ''how did i say that? i used to say that. i used to think this before'' and it would compare these actions to the past in a split second but the dread and lost feeling is what is the main thing. Seeing a conversation go right..or not right, a joke made, any type of reality, any intracasy of life, i see how all that is relaying its self and it shocks me and makes me more mad and dissociated into this realm. Like i cant believe reality. I compare it to how other people are living lives. People seem alien like. (i know this is a common perception with DPDR) but even the things i say now or type i get scared. For examaple i used to write about DPDR for instance and when i wrote about it just now it shocked me and made my brain scramble like thats how i thought, i thought that. i cant believe i used to think that. I think my brain thinks its so dead from continous stress that it plays these crazy mind games. Everything in past seems so dreadful.

Its not everyday emotions of feeling scared, self consious, having thoughts about people being better than me, im a failure thoughts, or just getting mad at things you maybe mess up on like work or something. No, Its the same emotions of dread, madness, panic. But not like how every one else experiences it. Its about the way it relays itself to me is horrific. Its hard to describe.

Another example:
Even as i retype this post and edit it, i can see where i can relay myself a little better and be more strategic with my wording and that scares the shit out of me. Like the very essense of having a thought that thinks that. And its a normal thought. The intrusive nature is the thoughts i suppose.

I see people with mental illnesses, you know, anxiety, people that ive knew with BPD even BiPolar, what i have is a different animal because they can go back to being themselves for a bit even if they have this mood swings and even when they have these swings theyre still talking normally so to speak, theyre not but they are expressing themselves in whatever state theyre in. My intrusive thoughts wouldnt allow me to say a sentence without freaking out.

Have any of you seen similar cases as mine or can share extreme cases maybe similar to mine where medication helped? Because i feel like there is really just no where to go at this point, truly. I know if i were to get better, medication would be just part of the equation, but do you see medication helping or it would make it worse if i even had a reaction to it?

Thanks in advance