Constantly trying to guilt trip WW

As per my previous posts, WW and I are in the process of R. So far she has been doing all she can to make amends and honestly, I can see effort on her part.

There will be times when everything seems fine and dandy for a day or two, and then my intrusive thoughts hit me hard especially the mind movie of them being physically intimate in AP’s car (WW’s confession - they were passionately kissing on lips and necks, AP groping her breasts which caused her to moan etc).

That asshole in me will then question her everything about the physical intimacy, including how she liked the intimacy and how she enjoyed having her breasts groped. She’s always maintained that she was shocked when he groped her breast, and honestly didn’t feel good when he did. But asshole me will keep saying “actually you loved it, and if he kissed you longer and groped you longer, it would have progressed to sex”, and similar things alone that line so that I can add on to her guilt and make her feel very bad and ashamed.

Why am I being like this?! Can somebody tell me if this is normal for betrayed spouses or am I really being a big asshole here?