UPDATE aita for telling my wife. She will respect our daughter not wanting to meet her girlfriend because she made it this way.

Original post here

I’ll jump right into it

• I talked to harleys mom, I said that 1- she needs to go to therapy with someone who doesn’t choose someone’s side, and someone who helps her see other POV, but I am not willing to do that with her and that’s something she needs to do on her own. 2- if she continues this you ruin any chance with her, and as a mom she made a decision to protect her, not be the reason she needs protection. 3- I hope that 1 and 2 sunk in, because I’m not going to be here to pick up the pieces for her shitty behavior, and now more than ever is the time to redeem herself if she even can, because we are absolutely getting a divorce. the most I can say is it was not taken well
• I talked to Harley, I explained that we are getting a divorce, none of this is on her and it never was. But she needs the choice to not deal with this anymore, and I want her to do the little things and feel free to bring around anyone she wants and not be worried of her parents reaction. I said this doesn’t mean their relationship is over, I’ll still be right here with her to try to redeem any relationship with her mom if she wants me to. I know it’s a big change, but it’s no one else’s job but her mothers to fix her issues., I said again this wasn’t her fault, but it also isn’t her responsibility, and it was my fault to go on with this. She was sad at first but came to terms with this.
• many said to make it clear that this was not her fault and I tried my best to make sure she understood this I stayed in a hotel for a while and Harley had some fun with my brother, I got a little house quick, and quickly started moving everything I could. Harley got to decorate her new room, I got her in therapy to. Her mom is still swearing that Harley is going to hell, Harley needs confession, she’s insulted and cursed Harley in person, then tried so act like a sweet caring mother in text and voicemail. she tried saying I’m the abusive one, she’s said that I was forcing her to like girls. She’s said i was now going to hell, a shit father and husband,threatened to take Harley away permanently and much more that I don’t think can be on here. I think she took this as a challenge. As I said before I gave Harley the choice to stay with me or 50/50 etc. with her age, there’s a good chance she get to choose, especially given the circumstances. I think she forgot what it was like to not walk on eggshells. After a week she said that she thinks she wants to stay with me, and just visit her mom with no sleepovers.

I’ve seen a lot more of her girlfriend around the house, and it’s clear Harley’s much more comfortable in her own skin & sexuality Things are still hectic, but are looking up. Overall. I’ve taken most advice, We have divorced, moved out, gone to therapy, and just commonly reminding that this isn’t her fault nor responsibility