AITA for asking my partners friend to leave

Really need some advice here because I don’t genuinely know if I’m being an a hole or not. I am in my 40s with 2 younger kids . I’ve been seeing someone for the past almost year after being single for 5 years . So I’m a bit rusty at this stuff. Things began really well and after awhile he met my children and for the most part has been great with them. I am employed and he is self-employed on trades . I’ve met all his friends and they are genuinely lovely people. He spends time with his friends most weekends and some weeknights with no issues .

However, just after Christmas he informed me that one of his friends was coming back from abroad and selling his local house and moving back to his farm which was a couple of hours away. He expected to be doing some work with him and would be staying away, which I was kind of surprised about because he just told me rather than discuss with me so it was quite a surprise but I tried to go with it. Said Friend arrives and the last six weeks has just been utter chaos. Quite a few times in the last few weeks he’s disappeared to help his friend with the local house and then not come back until very late again, I was a bit disappointed but I did try to roll with it and just communicated that if he was planning to not come back until midnight to let me know so I didn’t worry. He doesn’t normally do this with clients .

Then he starts telling me about all these exciting plans he has with a friend like starting all these new businesses there are so many that my head was beginning to spin with it all. Again, I tried to go with it and even tried to suggest some ideas for him and his friend. His friends brother had nowhere to stay so I said he could rent a flat for me to help him out. All my partner seems to do is talk about this guy. On pretty much a daily basis to the point where I can’t even stand to hear his name. His current client I feel sorry for because he has seemingly dropped them and hasn’t been to their worksite for Weeks .

This past weekend he disappeared for the entire weekend despite telling me he will be back on Sunday morning. The kids and I were unwell and there was a bunch of unfinished projects at home . At that point I was getting pretty fed up and I told him so. He then decided to invite him around tonight without asking or checking with me if it was okay . I couldn’t believe it and I just had enough so I quite politely asked his friend to leave. I feel like the third wheel in this relationship, and I feel like our relationship is dictated by this third Persons needs and wants and I am not priority. I don’t see an end to this because it is his friend. When I try and talk to him about it he gets very defensive and tells me I am controlling. I don’t feel like I am, but maybe I am ?