AITA for not driving my daughter to school?
My wife and I have been together for 14 years, we've got a 6yr daughter and unfortunately we're not eligible for school buses in our area as we live just right about the limit of no bus zone.
For context: my wife and I bought our first car about 11 years ago. My wife didn't want to pursue a license and every time that I've tried to teach her how to drive she says that is just easier if I do it, or says she doesn't feel ready and would rather just want to first try in a parking lot, the issue is we'll go to the parking lot but she never wants to drive into the actual roads. As she doesn't want to learn how to drive, she relies on me driving us everywhere, which I've told her many times that it can be tiring especially when she's the one to plan out events where I've got to drive all around and I've shared my concerns as it's important for her to learn how to drive especially should something happen to me.
Now, as our kid doesn't get a school bus, I'm the designated driver to pick her up and drop her off daily, as the school is about 1km away distance.
Today I've woke up super tired and told my wife if she could walk her to school, she said no because it was cold outside and that it was my responsibility to take our daughter to school everyday, but I asked her why is it my responsibility only? Shouldn't this be a shared responsibility? I asked her to please take her today, and she did only after nagging for a while as if trying to blame me and as if that is my responsibility as I'm the only driver. I told her that perhaps she needs to learn how to drive so she can also help taking her to school. But she even told our kid that "they now had to walk in the winter cold because I didn't want to drive her today" as if to put our kid against me. They left, and my wife is very mad at me and doesn't even want to talk to me or anything.
AITA for wanting my wife to learn how to drive so we can both share the responsibility of taking our daughter to school?
Edit: First, I just want to thank you all for your comments. You've given me some things to think about. So there's a lot of questions, and I figured it was easier to answer them here than to reply one by one.
- There are some questions around whether I knew that my wife didn't drive when I married her and whether it could be anxiety related.
A/ When we got married, we didn't have a car, and neither of us knew how to drive. A few years after we had been married and tired of having to do bus trips to bring groceries (especially during winter) my wife and I saved up and bought our car, and the idea was for both of us to learn how to drive. When the time came, I signed up on my own to driving lessons and told my wife about it so we could go together but my wife at the time said it was best to save that money and that I could just teache her what I learnt with the instructor. I figured that was a good idea but this never happened, ever since I've been asking my wife every year that we should go practice, I've even encouraged paying someone if she feels more comfortable but she's told me that she prefers I teach her because she trust my driving, and so whenever we've gone out to drive, she's just wanted to practice in a parking lot and so every time it's just become a matter of my wife driving around a parking lot, I've tried to encourage her so we go out on the road, like a very quiet road for her to practice driving around as there is only so much she can learn in a parking lot. But she says she doesn't feel ready, and is not anxiety or that she's afraid because she's told me so herself, it's rather that she'd like to basically learn magically (I.e she doesn't want to put in the work, just wants to wake up one day with the knowledge and I've told her it takes work and you have to be responsible out in the road).
Some people were wondering about the weather conditions. So it is winter here (not going to share my location for safety reasons) but there was no snow or ice, we actually get somewhat mild winters for example in the last 2-3 winters I've only shoveled twice. But the main thing is wanted to call out here is that whether AITA or not I'd never let my little one or my wife for that matter out on the cold if it was unsafe or if they didn't have the proper clothes, if anything I'm always reminding my little one to zip her jacket because when I pick her up from school, she always walks out with her winter jacket open.
Some people have suggested arranging a neighbour or someone to drive her. Unfortunately, our closest family members live about 2hrs away, and my neighbours are mostly elderly. I also wouldn't trust a neighbour.
Shared responsibilities at home, but I do the driving. So every day I pick her up and drop her off to school. Some people asked how I manage driving and picking up every day. I start work at 8:30am and drop my kid at school at 8:05am. I've asked my workplace to adjust my lunch so I can take it at the time my daughter is off from school so I can pick her up, some days I can't even get a bite because not enough time.
I do want to call out that I very much love my wife and little one and if I've posted here is because I want to be better for my family but also I'm human and can't help but to feel burning out from all the duties. Maybe we just need a vacation, it's been ages but lord know I can't afford to. Anyway, thank you for all your perspectives and opinions. Really appreciate it.