AIO My boyfriend said he doesn’t feel like having intercourse with me because he’s lazy

Hello, everyone. I’m a 24-year-old woman, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend (23) for almost two years now. From the beginning of our relationship, he has rarely initiated intimacy, and this has become a recurring issue for me.

To give some context, he has never really been the type to take the lead in this area. I’ve almost always been the one to initiate anything intimate or show signs of sexual attraction. He doesn’t seem comfortable reciprocating in the same way, and every time I try to talk to him about it, he gives me a different explanation.

At the start of our relationship, he said it was because he wasn’t experienced (he was a virgin before we met). Later, it became about stress. Over time, I’ve heard other reasons, like being tired or overwhelmed. Today, after another argument, he told me that he doesn’t initiate intimacy because he’s “probably just lazy.”

I’m really struggling with this. His lack of effort makes me feel undesired, and I’ve started to overthink everything. I find myself questioning if he’s secretly gay and unsure of it, if he’s seeing someone else, or if he’s only with me because he was lonely or desperate to lose his virginity. These thoughts hurt me, but I can’t help them sometimes, especially because he admitted early on that I wasn’t exactly his type when we first got together.

We’ve had multiple fights about this issue, and while I’ve tried to rationalize his behavior and be understanding, I’m reaching a breaking point. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid.