Am I Overreacting to My Boyfriend's Suspocious Behavior After He Met a Girl on a Flight?

My boyfriend ( 23 M ) and I ( 23 F ) are in a relationship for 7 years now. However something happened back in July, 2024 when he had to move to a new city for his first ever job. On the way, he had a layover, where he met a girl at the airport. They were not sitting next to each other on the flight. He had a window seat that he specifically chose, while she was either sitting behind him or in another row entirely. However, he left his seat to go and sit beside her so they could talk.I have literally NO problem with him talking to another girl but going OUT OF HIS WAY to talk to one girl is where I feel uncomfortable.

When I asked him why he went out of his way to talk to her, his explanation was that he felt "overwhelmed." He said he was emotional about leaving his parents and moving to a new city where he didn’t know anyone. According to him, he talked to her because she was a local and he wanted to feel more at ease. But here’s the thing: there was a man sitting next to him on the flight. If he really needed someone to talk to, he could have spoken to that man instead of going out of his way to talk to her. His reasoning didn’t sit right with me.

Later, I found out that they exchanged contact information, including phone numbers, Instagram, and Snapchat. Initially, he told me they didn’t exchange numbers and only had a casual conversation, but I had a gut feeling he was lying. To confirm, I messaged her from his Instagram account, pretending to be him, and asked if she could message me ( basically him ) on WhatsApp as I forgot to save her number. She responded positively, which confirmed that they had exchanged numbers.

When I confronted him, he denied everything and said I was overreacting and also gave me a lame excuse afterwards for sharing the number. Later, I messaged her from my private account (which doesn’t have my name or profile picture) to clarify things. I asked if we could talk for a moment, but I quickly backed off, telling her to just chill because I didn’t want to drag her into the situation as I didn't think that she's responsible for any of this but my boyfriend is. We patched up after I again started talking to him because you know he was in a new city all alone and I felt bad for not contacting him for 2-3 days.

Things escalated when my boyfriend and I had another fight because while I was talking to him over VC I saw that he has messaged her something from his instagram account again after we patched up and OBVIOUSLY I got furious and hung up on him. He went to her, telling her not to reply if I messaged her again—whether from his account or mine ( Although it was never my intention to drag her into this ). After that, she reached out to me on my private account ( most likely my boyfriend told her that it was my account ) to clarify everything. She said they weren’t romantically involved, that she had a boyfriend, and that there was no need for me to worry. And I told her yeah girl it's fine, chill. And then AGAIN after 10 minutes she texted me asking me to stop my boyfriend from texting her as she doesn't not want to get involved in this. She also sent me screenshots of their chats, which revealed that they had been texting, making WhatsApp calls. I also found out they had exchanged Snapchats.

This was too much for me. My boyfriend had initially told me they talked for only 15–20 minutes during the flight, yet here they were, texting, calling, and making plans. When I confronted him about all this, he flipped the blame on me, saying I was overreacting and that my behavior made him lie. He guilt-tripped me into thinking it was my fault.

She cussed me a little bit so I got mad and cussed her back and then she threatened to send people to harm him, claiming I had disrespected her. Out of fear for his safety, I stayed up all night begging her not to do anything, putting my pride and self-respect aside because I didn’t want him to get hurt. She didn’t act on her threats, but it was a terrifying experience.

Looking back, I can’t shake the feeling that I let myself down by letting this slide. My boyfriend insists it was all my fault because I "overreacted," but I feel like his actions—choosing to leave his seat to talk to her, exchanging contact details, lying to me, and continuing to communicate behind my back—are the real issue.

Also later in December I found out that he was on 6 different dating apps ( Tinder, Happn, Bumble, Boo, Mingle2, OkCupid and a dating site ) while we were in a relationship ( it's not like he was on the dating apps before we started dating, he created accounts after we started dating) and when I confronted him, his first response was - it's ( Happn app ) not even a dating app and it was a LONG time ago. And then changed it to - oh I was just 19yo and was curious ( while he was committed to me )

Even when we were fighting he was actively using the Happn app. And even before any of this flight girl dramma happened he was using the dating app ( Happn app ) while he was away from me in another city living with his sister right before he moved to Bangalore for his first job. So NO I don't trust this guy anymore.