I find myself giving in

Hello,

I have been clean from meth for 8 years but I struggle with a very strong cravings. For 2 weeks now I have been dreaming every night about injecting myself and during the day I have flashes of places and people associated with meth. Today I did a terrible stupid thing, I bought a needle, syringe and sterile water from the pharmacy and just injected myself without meth. I sincerely hope that this has satisfied my brain's desire for the needle, but most likely it will have the exact opposite effect. There was a slight euphoria from the act itself and surprisingly I have not forgotten how to do it at all, I finished the job in under 2 minutes.

I have nowhere else to share my troubles, I am worried that if I visit a therapist my loved ones might find out, nor can I share with them. Colleagues and friends are also out of the question, they do not even know my past. So here I am talking to you dear people, thank you for listening.