AITAH for not dropping the charges on my father in law?

I fucking hate this entire situation....as a preface, we live with this man which is why it escalated the way it did. we thought we had no where else to go.

TLDR: my ex marine Fil and i fought, he threatened to shoot me and traumatized all my kids all because my 14 year old daughter wouldn't come sit at the dinner table. he was arrested. i pressed charges.

Sunday started normal, my wife(32, Author, stay at home mom), myself(33, CNA) and our 2 littles(5yrs and 18 months) went to go get dinner so we could eat with my FIL(67, retired from the city, retired marine). our 13 year old and 14 year old stayed at the house. we get home with the food and i notice my FIL stumbling while trying to play with our 18 month old, which is odd because he normally doesn't when he drinks (he only drinks on sundays btw, no other time, he's not an alcoholic). my wife was putting the food on the table.

14 year old didn't want to come sit at the table. she has been abused by her step dad when he drinks so people drinking makes her really uncomfortable so she was just going to eat in the room. we told him her new pills were bugging her stomach(which isn't a lie, she barely eats because of them). this offended my father in law for some reason. he was pissed and tried going down the hall after throwing my wife out of her chair. obviously i didn't want him going and saying shit to my daughter so i stopped him at the end of the hallway.

he kept yelling shit, my wife was eating as fast as possible so we could try and escape into our room but he called my daughter a manipulative little cunt and that's when shit went sideways. my daughter was pissed and came out yelling, my wife and her dad ended up in the kitchen where he called her a little cunt again. and my wife smacked him in the face for saying it. my daughter ended up leaving the house. i chased after her. my wife was trying to wash the baby off in the shower when i came back inside for my keys cuz my daughter was full on running down the street.

idk what happened at the house after i left, my wife was asking about my daughter but hadn't said if FIL came into the room or not, not until i got back to the house to get my daughters meds and her kitten so she could go back to her moms. my wife told me in the driveway after my daughter and her mom left that her dad came in a called her stupid and every other name similar to it. but she was just trying to calm the situation down so she just waved him off and said "yeah ok whatever you say."

we came back inside and we thought everything had calmed down and we were just going to get our boys ready for school the next day (daughter is in online school because of her mental health) but my FIL came back into our room said my wife is a mother fucking liar because she obviously knew where me and my daughter were (i guess he asked if she knew where we were, she didn't, just knew that i was with her.) and that's when i said that was enough, he already chased my daughter away so he can just go sit in his chair before he regrets something else.

and boy does he regret everything after that. he told me to go out to the living room, my wife followed me because she felt like something bad was gonna happen and our 5 year old followed her. my FIL SCREAMED at our 5 year old to get back in the fucking room and i just saw red and pinned his ass down. I told him he already made my daughter leave and now we aren't her safe place anymore. she came here to feel safe and he took that from her. 30 seconds and i let him up again. but he punched me in the chest and the face and my wife came out of no where, i thought she had gone to check on the kids but she came flying from behind me and started screaming at him that he could have just left everything alone, my daughter didn't need to sit at the table and he could have just left it at her stomach bugging her but he had to start all this shit. (my wife doesn't remember this at all btw. she immediately blocked this out. didn't even tell the cops this. just thought that she was standing behind me the whole time)

I don't remember what he said but she pushed him and he was about to hit her so i pinned him down again. again only like 30 seconds maybe a minute. but when he got up he threatened to shoot me and started heading down the hall to his gun safe and my wife was so fast she shoved me out of the way and ran after him, this hall is maybe 20 feet long, not very big at all. (she doesn't remember this either. just remembers him saying he's going to shoot me and then yelling at him in his doorway she doesn't remember shoving me out of the way and running down the hall or even how she stopped him.) she ran after him instead of us leaving because our kids were in the room across from his bedroom and she didn't want to give him time to get his gun while we grabbed the kids.

the second he saw 911 dialed on my phone he started screaming at me again. not giving me a fraction of a second to talk, but the second he saw that i actually dialed the number and the clock was ticking he told my wife to move and we took these seconds to grab our kids and run outside because he was in the living room again.

he got arrested. we went home to sleep and figure out what we were gonna do because we cant afford to live where we are and my wife cant get her surgery if i get a new job because i need to work at a place for a year to get family leave. but at 2:30 in the morning a police officer called us from his personal phone and told us FIL was being released within the hour and we needed to get out.

we packed up the kids, a few things for them to keep them occupied, my wife's computer and we left and sat in a parking lot until we decided what to do. either go 200 miles away to her moms or 40 miles to my parents. we ended up at my parents house.

detectives came to my job on Wednesday to get another statement and ask if i wanted to drop the charges and i said absolutely not. he made my daughter run away, screamed at my kids, my wife and threatened to shoot me, who knows what he would have done after shooting me if my wife didn't stop him before he got to his closet. he could have shot the kids and my wife too. also i have 2 massive bruises on me and he somehow yanked my wife's elbow out of place because her entire elbow is bruised and was so swollen she couldn't move it the morning after. but does he have a scratch or anything? nope.

yeah the entire situation is a shit show and could have been so different but AITAH for not dropping the charges?