AITAH for not wanting another child with my wife?

I (34m) have been telling my wife for years I did not want more children. We have an 8yr old boy who is autistic and requires extra attention and a 4-yr old girl who’s personality makes her a handful. After the birth of our son and finding out he was autistic I decided more kids probably wouldn’t be in our future. He was nonverbal basically until the end of kindergarten, and again just requires extra attention if we want any hope of him being able to have any sort of life after my wife I are gone. I was already pressured into giving her our daughter. We fought and fought about it and I ultimately caved in. For a while after our daughter was born, I resented her though. That passed in a few weeks, and I let my love for her show finally. Now 4 years later I’m in the same scenario. My wife wants another child, but I do not. Kids are exhausting, expensive and require a level of attention I sometimes struggle with. Not only that I feel we are not financially stable. We live with my in laws so granted we aren’t very hard off, we just don’t have any hope of ever getting a place of our own as we live in probably the most expensive state in the US. My 80k/ yr here doesn’t do much. On top of that she refuses to think of a life away from her mom and flat out denies any sort of idea that requires us moving and starting our own life. She says she doesn’t want to be away from her mom because she won’t live forever. Keep in mind I am 1600 miles away from my closest family member, and I go years without seeing them and that breaks my heart.

*******************************************UPDATE*****************************************************************

Felt the need to update the post and add a few things after reading through the comments a bit.

  1. I love my wife, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. Because of this the idea of a stealth snip isn’t really for me. This is a partnership and even if the scales don’t always tip in my favor I made a commitment and I plan on riding it out to the last possible viable moment.
  2. I love my kids. Disabilities and all. I’ve never once regretted my son or daughters birth. I stand by my wording on my resenting my daughter for the first few weeks and not letting my love for her "SHOW" the love was always there, it just wasn’t in plain view. I resented the idea of how she came about.
  3. Why would I keep living the way I am and not divorce my wife? I will be the first to take ownership and say I am not a perfect person by any stretch of the imagination. I certainly have my flaws and my wife has been there through all that (10 years married, dating since '06). I was also raised by men who told me I should give my everything for my family. Body, soul, money, ect. ect. you don’t just quit on a marriage. You don’t quit on the person you made a vow with and for. Then why make this post? Because I wanted to get some opinions on the situation and well obviously as the sub is called find out if I was the asshole here or not. I expected maybe 10 people to see it and maybe 2 or 3 to comment. Not all this.
  4. Therapy. Yes I do attend therapy already.
  5. In laws. My MIL watches my daughter from 11am to 2pm, then I get home and pick my son up from school. I watch the kids until about 6pm then my wife gets home. The kids will usually hang out with me until bed time. My MIL is older, not on her death bed but older. Because of this I do not think its fair to her to help with a newborn.