AITAH for letting a senior colleague manipulate me for “favors” in exchange for better opportunities and not telling my partner, who left me?

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I guess I just have no one left to talk to. My life is in pieces. Adam, my boyfriend of two years, left me. Right now I’m sitting in my car with my bags and I got nowhere to go.

This is going to be a long post and I feel absolutely heartbroken even writing this. I don’t care if you don’t believe me or my experience, honestly it doesn’t matter if you don’t, because it doesn’t change what happened to me.

I know I messed up. I know I made bad choices. I’m not gonna pretend otherwise. But I swear I didn’t want things to turn out like this. It all started at work. My boss was always humiliating me in front of everyone on the team. He’d tear me down and take credit for stuff I worked really hard on. I knew I was good at my job, but he made me feel like I didn’t belong there. And being the only woman on the team made it worse. The whole place was such a boy’s club, and no matter how hard I tried, I felt like I’d never fit in.

Then there was M, one of the senior guys. He was nice to me at first. It was small stuff, like drinks after work or asking how my day went. But after a while I started to realize he had other motives. He had a lot of influence and made it clear that if I wanted to move up, I’d need to give “favours” for him.

I hated every second of it. When he touched me it made my skin crawl, but I didn’t know how to say no. I told myself I needed the job and I’d just get through it somehow. I cried almost every night, but I kept going because I thought I didn’t have a choice. I kept telling myself I could handle it.

Then I met Adam. He was different from everyone else. Kind, sweet, someone who made me feel like I could actually have a normal life. I fell for him hard. For a while things were good, and I felt like I had a bit of peace. But I knew deep down that I was keeping a huge secret.

When things got serious with Adam, I tried to end things with M, but he wouldn’t let me. He said if I didn’t keep doing what he wanted, he’d tell Adam everything. I knew Adam wouldn’t understand. He’d think I was disgusting, and I didn’t wanna lose him. So I kept it all hidden and tried to manage both worlds. But I was just fooling myself.

Somehow Adam found out. I don’t know if M told him or someone else did. All I know is one day Adam confronted me and everything fell apart. He was furious, called me a liar, a slut, said I was sleeping my way to the top. I tried to explain, but he didn’t wanna hear it.

He told everyone what happened. Friends, family, everyone turned against me. They thought I cheated on him and used my body for promotions. No one wanted to hear my side. They just saw me as this horrible person. I got fired as well.

The worst night was when Adam kicked me out. He slapped me really hard and it stung me cheek, just once in our whole relationship, and threw my stuff out into the hallway. I begged him to let me stay the night, but he told me to get out. I don’t even blame him, I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.

I know I should’ve told Adam the truth sooner or quit my job when things with M started. But I was so scared and didn’t know what to do. I told myself I was just surviving the best I could, but now I don’t even know what that means.

One minute I’m crying so hard I am crying uncontrollably, and the next I feel nothing at all. Now I just feel disgusting and used. And I don’t know how to move on from this.