My meds make me feel fake.

It makes me sad that I don’t get anything actually productive done without dexamphedamine. I never want to take it, but once I take it I feel so much better and it just gives me a weird feeling. I don’t want to be relying on medication. I feels like I’m faking who I am, even though I know I have a disadvantage to others. I just feel like I should be able to do these things without medication, and if I can’t do it, then should I be medicating myself to change that? Maybe it’s just not what I’m meant to do. When I accomplish something while on my meds it feels like it wasn’t really me who did it. Does anyone else get this?